How I Persuade My Girlfriend Into Wargaming
- gwirama
- Nov 5, 2019
- 5 min read
The hobbies that we do is fun because we played it with friends and people who are in the community. We can share stories, exchange tips and help, even do simple competitions just so we can boast in front of our friends, you know... Bragging rights.
But there are times when we want to invite people closest to us to be able to share and play the game that we do. Activities carried out together can strengthen our relationship, specially with your significant others. In this case, my girlfriend.
The following is a story about how I managed to persuade my girlfriend to play wargame. Maybe this story can be an example for you to persuade your partner, and can be also applied to your friends and family.
1. Show Your Games, Pictures, and Videos of Your Hobby (Without Forcing Her).
My girlfriend knows that I like miniatures, playing board games, wargames, and other hobby related to that. But She herself doesn't like playing with many toys, so at start She doesn't have any care for my hobby.
Whenever we hangout, I like to share and tell stories about simple things from my hobby. Example like showing the results of miniature painting from other people's work, then showing beautiful shapes and colors of dice, and I often show cute and pretty miniature characters.
Click the image for the original post
Here I did not force her to see nor hear about how awesome my hobby is. I introduce my hobby slowly, if she wants to see it I show it to her, but if she is not in the mood I will not do that. What I do is make her familiar and curious of what makes me happy and content. Something that is forced will make your partner form a big dividing wall between herself and your favorite hobby.
2. Persuade Her When There Is Free Time or When All of You Are Bored, Nothing To Do.
The right time to start introducing your partner to your hobbies is when there is no activity, or if you already have made an agreement / schedule to learn and play. When there is nothing to do, learning something new is a no lose situation and she agree to learn.
First give her an easy game. Don't give your partner a game with too many rules or a game with too many parts to play and remember. An easy example is classic board games such as monopoly, snakes and ladders, and ludo.
For my case, I intentionally introduced myself to the game Connect 4. This game has the basics in the game war game, namely: territorial control, planning, preventing your enemies from winning, and strategically placing tokens. I highly recommend Connect 4 for games that must be taught to beginners if you want to persuade him to enter the world of wargame.
The first time I played Connect 4 with her, I deliberately loose my competitiveness and my goal was not to give it an easy win. I want to make it an exciting match to raise her spirits and excitement. If you absolutely dominate and defeat a new player from the start, you will likely make them not interested in playing, or even judge yourself as a jerk.
You could get the Connect 4 game, here :
If you give her way too easy wins, she will feel lazy to play again because there are no challenges, especially if she knows you deliberately do it, it will make her feel cheated.
The key is in the excitement of playing, no matter who wins and who loses.
3. Start Playing With 1 to 3 Types of Boardgames (This Time Don't Deliberately Lose).
After introducing her to 1 game, start playing seriously for the next game. Give her tips and lessons while playing and encourage her to make her own strategy.
After playing a few times, start introducing other interesting games. Start playing with several types of games to avoid boredom and variations. This time I introduced her to Othello (or some know it by the name Reversi).
Find Othello here :
Find Reversi here :
When she master Othello, I move to RISK. Both of this game is essential to introduce you partner to more complex and more dominating game. The transition should be smooth.
Find RISK (this is the most essential boardgame any hobbyist should have) here :
RISK Original https://amzn.to/2WKY7tX
RISK 60th Anniversary Edition https://amzn.to/2NiQ0BR
Risk Game of Thrones Strategy Board Game https://amzn.to/2PV0t86
4. Start Teaching Her Wargaming.
After playing with some board games for a while, you should start introducing her to the world of Tabbletop Wargaming.
You cannot push someone into the world too fast. The only proper way is to start with skirmish games, don't jump into total war games yet (with big points). There are lots of skirmish games for sale, and usually these skirmish games have streamlined rules, are easy to understand, and play time is not long.
My recommendation of a small battle skirmish games are :
DUST 1947 (You need 2 Starter Set to play)
a. Luftwaffe Starter Set https://amzn.to/36CwQ1y
b. Taskforce Rhino Starter Set https://amzn.to/2JSgdVG
c. Taskforce Tanya Starter Set (girlfriend's favorite) https://amzn.to/34H83aX
INFINITY (You only need 1 box for 2 player battle)
a. Infinity Operation: Icestorm - PanOceania vs Nomads 2 Player Starter Set
b. Infinity Operation: Red Veil - Haqqislam vs Yu Jing 2 Player Starter Set
STAR WARS : X-WING MINIATURES GAME (Buy the core set, and expand by buying individual spacecrafts)
Core Set https://amzn.to/33pxtcU
Recommended expansion
There are so many more small battle / skirmish game that you could play. But above are the most fun I had with my girlfriend.
Do not forget to also teach your partner tips and strategies that could be applied to that game. In addition, usually people will be more interested if they know lore in the world. Briefly tell the world and even the backstory of the character your partner is playing.
5. Help Her Choose the Faction She Likes.
After many weeks play testing and do a 1-on-1 battle, I start to think that it's time for my girlfriend to choose her own faction and not just using your own troops.
Help her choose by telling her about the background of each faction in the game. Then tell the weaknesses and strengths of each faction, and adjust to your partner's personality and character. If she already like and attached to your troops that you lend her, don't worry and don't push her out, she will explore it by herself and eventually will find her own faction.
The advantage of having a partner who has the same hobby is, you can practice strategy and discuss with each other. Then there is healthy competition that can strengthen your relationship.
Any question and suggestion? Hate me? Love me?
Feel free to contact me.
Comments